An effective scheme to keep the ole heart serene when lambasted by an angry person is to concede his right to feel the way he does, even if you diverge on points. Suavely deployed “acknowledgment strategies” allows you to maintain calm and detached without having to secure yourself.
Subsequently, reflective listening skills demonstrate that you sympathize and realize your attacker’s feelings. This action easily defuses the conflict. A sympathetic response prevents you from warring with the person and allows you to zero in on the font of the conflict. Observe the following powerful statements that acknowledge another person’s feelings:
“After you told me how insulting the staff was, I can see why you are feeling upset.”
“Now that I know you like me, it makes sense that you would be upset by me ignoring you.”
“From what you’ve gone through, I think you have a perfect right to be upset.”
It helps to maintain composure under pressure as it encourages other persons to calm down and talk more reasonably. After carefully listening you may readily discover that the angry person has:
o Magnified an occurrence out of proportion
o Misinterpreted information
o Read your statement as a personal attack
o Picked a quarrel to cover up a larger issue
o Enlightened you to a genuine complaint that you need to address
Here’s a cool trick to enhance your relationship with others: whenever you feel like lashing out at an undesirable comment or behavior, pause for ten seconds. Then imagine how things will be one hour later after you spew out some venom of your own.
